


The light at the end of the tunnel

by TheUsagi1995



Category: Supernatural
Genre: 11x20, Crying Dean, Episode: s11e20 Don't Call Me Shurley, Established Relationship (mentioned lightly), Happy Ending, Hugs, Hurt Sam Winchester, Kissing, M/M, One Shot, Protective Dean Winchester, Samulet, Scared Sam Winchester, Season/Series 11, Season/Series 11 Spoilers, slight AU of the episode, spoilers for previous seasons
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-03
Updated: 2016-09-03
Packaged: 2018-08-12 18:55:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,801
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7945480
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheUsagi1995/pseuds/TheUsagi1995
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Set durring the episode "Don't call me Shurley" of Season 11 (Season 11 episode 20). Slight AU of some parts of the episode.<br/>Individual, stand-alone one-shot!</p><p>Sam, who is trying to breathe, but can't loses his faith and says that he no longer sees a light at the end of the tunnel. </p><p>Dean, who- as always- refuses to leave his brother alone, has to stay strong and convince him that there is always something worthy of fighting for.</p><p>And as the lethal fog covers them, Dean straggles to stop the memories from poping in his head, but he seems powerless to win against them. </p><p>And when everything seems lost, a certain item, which Dean thought was lost, will bring light and will defeat the darkness...</p>
            </blockquote>





	The light at the end of the tunnel

**Author's Note:**

> Hello!!! I hope you're doing fine! I don't know if this story is good, but it'w what I felt when I watched the episode. Also, I needed a break from the long story I write, but rest assured, I will update that one as well!
> 
> WARNING:  
> Please be awere for spoilers for various parts of the series.
> 
> Hope you all enjoy!

“SAM!” Dean yelled, the wave of the sound so strong, that the green-eyed man could swear it was ripping his lungs apart. But he couldn't care less, not when Sam, his Sammy, was once again, down on his knees. 

 

A flash of light passed before his eyes, and all Dean could see, was Sam, who was falling on his knees by a blade pinned in his spine, Sam, who was falling on his knees, by a bullet in his abdomen, Sam falling... Falling and slipping away, in Lucifer's cage... Falling and slipping away, away from him...

 

For a few seconds, for a few deafening heartbeats, Dean stood still, eyes staring at the empty space above Sam's head. And then, an idea popped into his head. No, no he wasn't losing him this time. His brother had just stumbled on his on feet. 'Yeah, that must be it.' He thought, just like when he was a kid and Dean was teaching him how to walk, or like later on, when Sam got back from Hell and he was seeing Lucifer, or, like that time, when he was doing the trials... 

 

 

But then he saw them, saw the veins in his brother's long arm, turning black, as the lethal poison of Amara's fog, was entering his system. Black, snakelike lines his veins now were, carrying within them, not blood, but poison, which was spreading fast all over the length of his arm. Sam coughed yet again, shutting his eyes tightly, as a wave of pain hit him, making him furl his body even more.

 

 

The next second Dean was moving, moving towards his brother, hands outstretched, ready to help in any way, but Sam, to his credit, waved his own hand, and rasped that Dean shouldn't get close to him. “My God, he's infected!” the officer said, and the words hit the middle Winchester like a punch in the stomach. They were all he could hear right then. Infected. Infected. Infected... 

 

 

The various fists crushing on the door, along with the little girl's cries were creating chaos inside the room, but Dean could only hear the echo of those words in his head. “He is infected...” “Quickly, all of you, get inside!” He ordered, mimicking John's voice, pointing at the small office in the end of the room. All of the remaining citizens, as well as the two officers did run in with the last one of them urging Dean to follow them. 

 

 

Follow them and leave Sam alone? Yeah, no, that wasn't going to happen, not now not ever. “Come on!” “No, I'm not leaving my brother!” Dean snapped, eyes on the police officer. The man then withdrew, closing the door behind him, and hearing it lock from the outside, thinking that Dean would be putting tape on its base as soon as it was closed. And Dean would have done just that, if he hadn't heard the noise of a window breaking and of Sam groaning in pain, as more of Amara's fog entered the room, and Sam's lungs...

 

“Sam, Sammy, hey, hey, hey!” Dean exclaimed, rushing to his brother's side, abandoning the tape, leaving the gap between the threshold and the floor uncover, dooming the people inside the small room, sentencing them to death. But, they didn't matter. It was cruel and wrong and a sinful thing to do, but Dean did it nevertheless, for Sam needed him. Nothing. Nobody, not even that little girl mattered, only Sam. 

 

“There is nothing, past or present, that I would put in front of you! It has never been like that, never!”

 

Dean's hands, familiar with every corner of Sam's body, lashed out, taking a hold of his face and his shoulder. His callused fingers felt Sam's veins burn, as though fire was running within them. “We are not gonna make it. We were never, gonna make it...” Sam managed to say, as his hand blindly found its way to Dean's jacket, fingers clenching around it, as another wave of pain hit him. “No, there is no quitting here.” Dean replied, voice rushed and filled with fear.

 

 

“No Dean, you don't get to quit! We don't get to quit in this family, this family, is all we've ever had!”

 

Sam's words echoed in Dean's head, loud and clear. “No, you don't get to quit Sam, you can't do that, you can't, you hear me? You can't!” Dean rasped, tightening his hold on Sam's neck. “You're going to choose Amara, over me, over everything... You will turn to her...” Sam moaned, as he tried to take in a breath, but all he succeeded was to push the already existing smoke further down his body, making every muscle spasm in the process. 

 

“Who are you going to turn to next time, instead of me? Another Angel? Another vampire? You don't have any idea, how it is to watch your brother...” 

 

“No Sam, no!” Dean snapped, moving closer to his brother, taking his pained face in his hands, fixing his eyes on clouded hazel ones. “Listen to me Sam, this, this Is not you talking it's the fog.” Dean replied thumbs running over Sam's cheekbones repeatedly, in an attempt to ease the pain the younger man was feeling. That however, proved to be a bad idea, for Sam moaned under the touch, turning his face away, leaning on the wall.  
“You will... run away from me, again...” Sam muttered, voice hoarse. “Sam I told you this isn't you talking-” But the green eyed man stopped dead in his tracks, for all those quotes, they were way too familiar...

 

 

“Did you notice, that I tried to get as far away from you as possible? Away from your whining, your complaining...” Black-eyed Deanmon had said, almost two years ago. “This isn't my brother talking, this, this isn't you Dean.” Sam had answered, refusing to give up on him. Dean blinked a couple of times, hating the fact that all those memories were all he seemed to be able to think of. Hating and fearing the fact that, deep inside him, he knew that if Sam was going to die, those memories would be all he would be left with. 

 

 

“I'm not going to leave you Sammy-” “I'm sorry, look I didn't mean it, I didn't mean... Go before you get infected, go before I hurt you!” Sam said, raising his voice, using a last bit of strength he had left, to try and push Dean away. His face spasmed, as the poison worked its way further down, burning his veins, creating a net around his lungs, rotting the muscles, making it impossible to take in a breath, making Sam to want to spit every piece of them out of his mouth. 

 

 

“No Sam, I'm not leaving you, ever!” Dean repeated, for he had made up his mind from the moment Sam fell on the floor. He wouldn't leave, he couldn't leave him. “You can't lose him.” Billy had told him, and she was right. Dean could not go on without Sam, he didn't want, to go on without him. Sam was his friend, his brother, his lover, his soulmate, everything. He was everything, he was the one guiding him through the dark paths, he was the one who would take him to the light at the end of the tunnel. 

 

“There ain't no me, if there ain't no you!”

 

Dean knew those words were not a lie, and he also knew that it hadn't been Gadreel who had spoken them, but him, it was him, he had been speaking through the angel's mouth, and he had never been, more honest in his life. And if there was no way to save Sam, then there was only one way for Dean to follow. So, he did the only thing he could, the only thing he wanted to do. He inhaled, loud and long, taking in as much of the fog as possible, waiting for the sharp poison to settle in and start its work.

 

 

But nothing happened, nothing at all. He didn't feel anything burning him, anything spreading along his veins. His eyes snapped open and his body went rigid, numb with fear, as he understood what was happening. He was immune, Amara would not harm him. Which meant that... he would be left alone, truly alone... His eyes flicked around the room as the screams were echoing all around him, agonizing screams, because everybody were dying, everybody, exept him...

 

 

“Stop this! You hear me?!” he yelled, lifting his eyes, wanting nothing more but for all the screams to cease. And all of a sudden, that was exactly what happened. “No, no no no no no!” Dean yelled, voice filled with desperation, so much, that one could drown in it. “D'n...” Sam's whisper, reached his ears and Dean turned his gaze back on him. “Leave, D'n, go...” he uttered, before coughing yet again, body shuddering hard in Dean's arms. The older man felt his eyes stinging.

 

 

This was Sam, Sam who was never going to change, Sam, the 'big,' as Billy had stated, the 'big one', but in Dean's eyes, always baby, brother, his baby brother, who was on his knees yet again, trying to suck in air, but failing. Sam, who needed Dean by his side, and yet, was pushing him away, desperately trying to save him from sharing his fate. Sam, who was trying to push him away, knowing deep down that this would never happen, that Dean, would never leave him alone. Because that wasn't in him. He tried, nevertheless.

 

Just like always, he tried, to make his brother leave, and just like always, he failed completely. “Dean, I'm sick, it's over for me, but it doesn't have to be for you!” Sam, who was infected by Croaton virus said. “I'm tired Sam, of this job, this life...” Dean, who had not left him alone replied. “So, you just gonna give up? If this is about dad-” “No, it's not about dad Sam.” “Then, what is it about?” A knock on the door had stopped Dean from answering back then. But the answer remained the same. And deep inside him, Sam knew what that answer was.

 

“There ain't no me, if there ain't no you...”  
“You're my weak spot...”  
“I couldn't live with you dead...”

 

 

“I can't, can't, live with you dead.” Dean thought to himself, blinking back the tears.  
“Dark, it's dark D'n...” Sam uttered, breaking the silence, unable to maintain his strong facade anymore. He needed his big brother now, needed him even more than the oxygen he was missing. Because he was dying and as selfish as it may sound, he wanted this time, this one time, to die in the arms of the person he loved the most.

 

Dean grabbed him by the shoulders. “Hey, hey hey no, no look at me, I'm right here Sam, right here Sammy, come on now!” He pleaded, words leaving his lips uncontrollably. “I'm here Sam, and it's gonna be okay, you'll see, we will find a way out of this...” Dean muttered dread audible in every word he spoke. “It's you and me against the world, it has always been that way and it will always be that way, okay?” He continued, taking in a shaky breath. 

 

 

“There is no way out, there's no light... at the end of the tunnel Dean! No light just... Darkness...” Sam said, voice high, panicked, scared,hazel eyes rolling back in his head. “No, no no, Sammy no, don't you dare go back on your promise brother, you promised me remember? That you would take me to that light at the end of the tunnel. Remember?” He asked, tears running down his face freely.

 

“ 'M sorry...” Sam muttered and then yelled, as his body jerked violently. “Sammy, Sam, it's alright, it's okay, I'm here, I'm right here...” Dean repeated, getting himself behind Sam, wrapping his hands around his chest. Sam's head fell on Dean's shoulder and the older man removed the hair out of his forehead with his palm. “You always see a light, right Sammy? So come on now, don't say that there is nothing but-” “Darkness, Dean, it's all around, everywhere D'n...” Sam rasped, shaking helplessly in Dean's embrace. “It's my fault-” “Sam, no it's not-” “I... I'm gonna- ah- die, but you, you deserve a life-” “You are going nowhere, not as long as I'm around!” Dean said, voice cracking.

 

“As long as I'm around, nothing bad will ever happen to you.” 

 

A promise made long ago, a promise Dean had tried his best to keep, but as it seemed, he could keep no longer. His arms tightened around Sam, but the act was pointless, for Sam was slipping away, like the sand slips from in between our fingers. And right then, Dean looked around him and saw darkness all over the room as well. Because Sam wasn't just leading him to the light at the end of the tunnel, he was, the light at the end of the tunnel, he was the light in Dean's black dreams, in Dean's eyes when they had been black, in Dean's world. 

 

“Dean... where are-” 'Right here Sammy, shh don't be afraid okay? I'm right here Sam... So please don't... Don't do this...Don't-” But his words died in his throat, as Sam's body convulsed in his arms. “Sammy! Sammy! Sammy, baby boy what, what is it-” “Ah, ah, D'n...” Sam choked a sob as his body kept convulsing, leaving the young man screaming in pain. 

 

 

“Sammy! Sam no no no, no!” Dean yelled, trying to hold his brother still. The very next second though, Sam stopped struggling, and went rigid in Dean's arms, making the older hunter cry out his name. “Sam!” “In... pocket- ah God!” “What, what Sammy what?” Dean rasped, voice cracking even more. “Right pocket...” The other man managed to utter and Dean moved his hand and let his fingers wander until they touched... They touched something familiar, something which once, belonged to him, as he was worthy of wearing it around his neck. 

 

 

The older hunter gasped, as his fingertips found the core of leather from which the amulet he thought he would never see again was hanging, and he pulled it out from the inside of Sam's pocket. His eyes went wide as they took the all-too familiar shape, and he felt sparkles almost burning his skin, as his fingertips moved from the leather core to the ears and nose and the lips of the small bronze face.

 

 

“Sammy, you've kept-” “I know that... you don't want it, but I couldn't throw it away and now... This time, I want to have it when I'll be in Lucifer's-” “Shh, no you ain't going anywhere Sam-” But Dean's words were cut off by Sam's agonizing cry of pain. “Ah!” “Sammy, come on, fight it, you have to fight it, and win, so that you can give this back to me, okay?” Dean pleaded, holding the amulet in his grasp and then grabbing Sam's hand, tangling their fingers. 

 

 

“What-” “I should never have thrown it away Sam...” The green-eyed man uttered, kissing the top of Sam's head while holding his hand in his own. The amulet, which was crushed between their palms was now wet with sweat, but none of the boys cared. “Dean, you want it-” “Yeah, yes baby boy I want it back, I've wanted it for years, so I need you to hold on, please Sam...” “Take it then...” he whispered at the same time as Dean pleaded. But Sam's words went unheard, as his body convulsed yet again, and his eyes fluttered close, his hand falling from Dean's grasp. 

 

 

“Sammy, no, Sam!” Dean yelled as he felt the solid weight of Sam's body on his own. His hand had fallen on Dean's lap, his head had dropped on his chest, his long hair covering his eyes. Dean's own eyes widened, and he tried to do something, anything, but all of a sudden... The amulet started shining, with a bright white light, a purifying light, which in Dean's watery eyes, seemed as though it was brighter than the sun. And then the unbelievable happened. The fog started to clean and the deafening silence was replaced by cries of joy as all the people were one by one, returning back to normal. 

 

 

Dean's eyes fell on the amulet, which was shining still and then flicked on Sam, who jolted upright, inhaling deeply as he did so. “Sam? Hey hey hey!” Dean said, as he moved as well, getting himself in front of Sam who was staring at his hand, as though it wasn't his own. He took Sam's hand in his own, unable to stop himself from gasping as he saw that the black lines caused by Amara's poisonous fog, had disappeared. “How is this-” “I don't know, God, Sam I... You okay?” Dean mumbled, grabbing Sam's face with his hands, resting his forehead on Sam's sweated one.

 

 

“Yeah, Dean, I'm fine...” Sam replied, voice low, eyes fixed on Dean's. His trembling hands took a hold of Dean's wrists, his fingers clenching around them, feeling the pumping veins underneath them. “Good...” Dean uttered shivering slightly. “Um, Dean, the people in the other office, they are calling for you, to unlock the door.” “Let them wait, I...” But Dean could speak no longer as the lump in his throat was almost choking him. With one hand he checked Sam's body for any other injuries, while with his other hand he held the amulet hard enough so that his knuckles were turning white. 

 

 

Sam's eyes began to sting, but never left Dean's emerald ones, as he allowed his brother to perform his ritual, check him out, and let his palm rest on his chest, right above his heart. Sam's hand took a hold of the one Dean still kept clinched into a fist, running his thumb over hard knuckles. “Did you mean it?” Sam dared to ask, his lips only inches away from Dean's. “What?” “That you want the amulet back.” “Yeah, Sam I meant it, I've wanted this for a long time.” Dean uttered as sunlight illuminated the room. “And you kept it hidden-” “It wasn't hidden. I have always carried it with me. In inner pockets, or in my wallet.” The younger man confessed. 

 

 

“Sam, I' m sorry, it was a mistake-” But the young man stopped his brother, shielding his lips with his own, swallowing up his broken words. “It's alright Dean, I'm alright, so, come on...” Sam urged, getting up on his feet, offering his hand to Dean, who took it without uttering a word. He then unlocked the door and when all the other people were gone, he spoke again. “Did you mean it?” Now it was Sam's turn to blink and frown his face in confusion. “What?” “That you no longer see a light at the end of this tunnel.” Dean replied, voice low.

 

 

Sam froze, breath getting caught in his throat for an entirely different reason than before. He lowered his head and weighted his options. He could always lie, and tell his brother that he didn't mean it, in the typical no-chick- flick moments rule. But then again... “No, no Dean, I see the light...” Sam started talking, “Just not at the end of the tunnel.” he continued. “What is that suppose to mean?” Dean questioned, hands shaking. “It means that the only light I see anymore, is not at the end of the tunnel, but next to where I stand in it.” Sam said.

 

 

Dean's head lowered as his mind was processing what his brother was saying. “Sam...” This doesn't mean however, that I won't take you to whatever lays there, at the end of our road.” Sam whispered and saw Dean's face darkening. “Will you? Cause these last few weeks you don't seem to be willing to take me there and today you said that...” Dean tried to say but his voice fainted. “Fair enough... But I gave you a promise and that means something, right?” Sam replied having nothing else to say. “Right...” Dean muttered, moving closer to Sam, fixing his eyes on him. “What kind of light could you possibly see in me Sammy?” Dean asked, chocking a sob, eyes watering.

 

 

The younger man didn't answer however. He just took the still shining amulet from his brother's shaking palm and passed it over Dean's head, letting it find its place on his neck. “The one I've always been able to see Dean, ever since I first laid eyes on you. That's why I gave you this.” he muttered, as his long callused fingers ghosted over the small item. Dean took in a breath as he felt the weight of the necklace settling around his neck. For too many years it had been a part of him, to the point where Dean could swear, that it had become part of his bones on his chest. 

 

 

Dean eyed Sam yet again, searching for any hints of doubt about what he just said, but found none. Thus, he opened his arms and waited, knowing that they both needed this confirmation. And he was not mistaken, for Sam dived in his embrace, burying his face in the crook of Dean's neck, feeling the cord of the amulet touching his nose. Dean run his fingers through messy brown hair, and inhaled deeply, savoring Sam's sent. And at that moment, Dean's world started to be colorful again, started to spin again. 

 

 

“So, um... we should go see what's going on.” Sam stated after a few moments in which none of them dared to utter a word. “Yeah, we probably should...” Dean replied, freeing Sam from his embrace, heading towards the door. “And Sam... Whatever comes down that road we're heading, we will face it, okay?” “Yeah, okay Dean...” Sam agreed and so, they walked out the door and down the corridor side by side, both staring at what was lying before them.

 

 

Two little men, walking down a dark endless path, filled with pain, fear, blood and tears. Not knowing what to expect, not seeing a light at the end of the tunnel. But it didn't matter, not really, not anymore. Because, as Dean cast one glance over his shoulder to Sam, he saw what his brother had been talking about. He saw, that the only light, was the one coming from his side, the light was coming from Sam. And Sam wasn't standing far away at the end of the tunnel, but next to him. He wasn't the light at the end of the tunnel, but the light along its length.

 

And for Dean, that was enough to light up the entire world. Sam, was enough.

The End!

**Author's Note:**

> Please tell me what you think! Hope you liked it!  
> Thank you all!


End file.
